ইউজার লগইন

2

Sometimes, on some bad nights like tonight, I conclude to myself that I do not fit into this world, and I am too weak to survive the savanna. Some nights, my knees can't bear me anymore. And I just bring my poor self on the bed. The only thought that surrounds me is the fear- the fear of being unfit, disqualified.

Now my eyes are heavy. I could go asleep, but I push myself to write. I got this letter from the town hall. And it says, I have to fill out some additional documents, because I have not registered in time. I was just about to study, but I had to translate the letter into English and the it made me feel down. I texted Doris, but they were not home. Now the next Monday morning, I have to see Mr Franz, the house master and ask for his recommendation regarding it.

How could I be so careless about these matter? No, I was not. I just didn't know that there's a deadline. But now, in this world of do-or-die, I guess there's a deadline for everything.

When I feel bad, I cannot study, I cannot do anything. But I had to go down to Joshua's room for a better translation of that letter, and he was not there. Later I also had to go to Lidl, because I need the vegetables at the discounted price. Last Saturday I went for them but all of them were sold out before I was there. And today I was there two hours before 7 o'clock. But nothing was on discount. I spent the time by just wandering around in the cold, because I need the Spinach at half price. I went in around 7 o'clock and there was no Spinach, I figured out that all of them were sold out at the regular price. My two hours of waiting for the discount gave me only pain in my bones.

I came back with what I got at the half price and ate the vegetable I cooked two days ago. Everything led me to think that, maybe I am not fit for the world. I know this feeling is called depression. I am writing these so that I can improve, and to tell myself that I want to improve. But do I really have everything to do so?

Sometimes I just can't deal with the frustration. If I can't figure out the hole, how am I supposed to fix it?

মীর's picture


Remember what Bob Marley said? "Don't worry about a thing, because every little thing is gonna be alright" 
Quintessential early period in abroad Sanat, almost everyone has to be there for once. Looking like you are doing a way better job than me, at least Laughing Just keep it up brother, everything will become smooth soon. 

সনৎ's picture


Yeah everything's gonna be alright soon. Thank you brother.

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