ইউজার লগইন

Coming out of the dark

The first house where I grew up was the one in a place, which to most people would be a slum. There was no privacy, no one cared about that. There was no space between two houses, and one family could hear the next family talking to each other. Next to our house lived the a family with three children and their grandma. The father of the children would sometimes scold his wife for no reasons and we could hear all their shouting at each other living next to them.

But I was connected to a village home not so far away from there. I have some good memories from that place. That was really a place to live a life time for my grandfather. They raised their four children there. But they had to go through a nine month war in 1971. No life on the land was easy and happy all the time. Now I live far away from that place and time, but I still carry horror in me. There is no escape from what you have seen and heard. You have no escape from the history.

I once fell in love for the first time, at the very first school days of my life. We were around 7 years old and I would look at her smiles sitting in the classroom. I recently asked her for a photograph of her from that time, but received none. I remember the streets that I walked through on the way to the school. It was muddy and dirty every day in the rainy season. I have no friends from that school now, I have no friends from anywhere.

According to someone,Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. So I keep looking for doing as much as I can do now, but still hard to propel through the dark water.

My life has been a great abuse of time.

The things that I have lived though and been a part of is not what one would want to live. Now I understand all. But now I live far away from my childhood, which I hated all along the way. What else I have seen?

Most likely it is true that I have failed to use the time of my life till now. That is true, I have seen many people coming out of the slums to be a scientist or millionaire, but something was wrong with me. I was wrong, maybe I am still wrong on how I should find my ways around things in life.

I have no idea of how I am dealing with the time. I had a troublesome time last few years, I can’t even think of any single good memory. I do not know what is good but I know what is bad. Maybe I need to ignore and jack off all these thoughts. He also said, all you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. Yes, ignorance is understandable but what makes confidence? Confidence is a long time.

মন্তব্য করুন

(আপনার প্রদান কৃত তথ্য কখনোই প্রকাশ করা হবেনা অথবা অন্য কোন মাধ্যমে শেয়ার করা হবেনা।)
ইমোটিকন
:):D:bigsmile:;):p:O:|:(:~:((8):steve:J):glasses::party::love:
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অতীতের ভিত্তিতে নিজেকে ডিফাইন করা অর্থহীন। আর আগামীও অদেখা। বর্তমানে আমি কী সেটা যদি এখন বলি, সেই তথ্য খানিক সময় পরে ইনভ্যালিড হয়ে যাবে, যেহেতু মানুষ প্রতি সেকেন্ডে বদলায়। ফলে, নিজের সম্পর্কে স্পষ্ট করে কিছু বলাটা কঠিন কাজ।